Girly Wisdom

I received a forwarded e-mail from a friend this morning. Thought I would share it with you since I didn't have anything better to say. I'm getting ready to go out in the back yard and putter around a little - mostly to keep my hubby company as he has some projects to do out there. It's already hot out there - probably close to 90. 

• Women over 50 don't have babies because they would put them down and forget where they left them.
  

• A friend of mine confused her Valium with her birth control pills...she has 14 kids but doesn't really care.
  

•  One of life's mysteries is how a 2-pound box of chocolates can make a woman gain 5 lbs.
  

• My mind not only wanders it sometimes leaves completely.
  

• The way to forget your troubles is to wear tight shoes.
  

• The nice part about living in a small town is that when you don't know what you're doing, someone else does.
  

• The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight because by then your body and your fat are really good friends.
  

• I gave up jogging for my health when my thighs kept rubbing together and setting fire to my pants.
  

• Amazing... You hang something in your closet for a while and it shrinks 2 sizes.
  

• Skinny people irritate me when they say things like... 'You know sometimes I forget to eat'... Now I've forgotten my address, my mother's maiden name and my keys, but I have never forgotten to eat. You have to be a special kind of stupid to forget to eat!
  

• The trouble with some women is that they get all excited about nothing and then they marry him.

• I read this article that said the typical symptoms of stress are eating too much, impulse buying, and driving too fast. Are they kidding? That's my idea of a perfect day!
  

Have a great day!