Another thing I found out by reading this book is that it isn't just a psychological thing. There is a physical difference in the brains of innies and outies. (Introverts are called innies and extroverts are outies). The book explained that. I won't try to explain it here.
Innies enjoy spending time alone while outies feel much better when they are surrounded by a lot of activity. The author of the book is an introvert. The following excerpt from the book had me saying, "Hey, that's me."
The way my brain worked puzzled me. I couldn't figure out why I could think of lots of comments after the fact. I found my thoughts were like lost airline baggage, they arrived some time later.
Socializing was also a confusing experience. I enjoyed people, and people seemed to like me, but I often dreaded going out. I would go back and forth deciding whether to show up at a party or public event. I concluded I was a social chicken. Sometimes I felt awkward and uncomfortable; at other times I felt okay. Even when I was having a wonderful time, I was eyeing the door and fantasizing about snuggling in bed in my pajamas.About now (if you're still with me here), you're probably thinking "who really cares, Charlotte, whether you are an introvert or not." I'm writing this because I know there are a lot of us "innies" out there and I wish I had read this book about 60 years ago. If you still have children at home, and you think they are introverts, you really should get this book and read it. I know I would have been happier with myself as I was growing up and even after I was grown if I had known why I was not outgoing and that it was okay to be who I was. I still would rather be an extrovert than an introvert. It just seems like life is easier for them. My mother was an extrovert and my dad was an introvert. I always wished I was more like my mother, but I wasn't.
The book goes into detail in explaining the differences in innies and outies. If you are an extrovert, which most people are, I hope you will be more aware that there are quite a few of us introverts out there and try to understand us and not judge us too harshly. It's OK to be an introvert, and there actually are a lot of advantages to being one.
Very interesting, Charlotte ~ I think I am an introvert too.
ReplyDeleteHello Charlette!How lovely to see your comment at my Nature Trail! As you have read from my postings I am really enjoying my time here in your warm sunshine state!
ReplyDeleteI think that many extroverts are NOT good listeners..innies seem to be better at listening..there has to be a good balance.
You express yourself well through writing!
Nice to meet you! Waving from Scottsdale!
can you be a an inbetween? not quite an introvert and not quite an extrovert? or does just label me as being 'confused'? lol
ReplyDeleteI have shared about learning this and what an invaluable lesson it was in so many ways! In my marriage it was HUGE! In parenting as well! Recognizing these things allows for sooo much understanding when you know that it isn't someone just being quiet as you shared...it is simply how they are. Great post Charlotte! I wish pastors and counselors would teach this when couples are going through pre-marital counseling because it truly can save a marriage when you sincerely study your spouse and how they operate!! how their battery is re-fueled or not! A simple thing I learned about my husband who is an introvert is that taking the long way home in the quiet will refuel him from being around people all day. It really does "drain" an introvert to be around people but for extroverts it is how we are charged! Just so fascinating to me!!
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing :)
I am an extrovert: a sea otter. I would not know how to be an introvert. And, you are right, there are way more of us and it's not because God favors extroverts. I think it's because, in the balance of things, God doesn't want us to take ourselves too seriously in the sense that we neglect the enjoyment our lives.
ReplyDeleteI know how out-of-balance extroverts can be. And, there are many introverts that should be speaking up more. Thank God for his devotion to character building and balance!
I will say that as an extrovert, there has been much "balance" that I have needed to acquire. I remember having the revelation several decades ago that I don't have more thoughts than other people: they just don't say everything that they think! LOL! I have found the need for having more introverts in my life because it provides great balance and has a soothing effect on me. And, it has taught me to be a much better listener.
Strangely, I married an introvert and he has become more of an extrovert. It used to be that Barry was always waiting for me to finish up conversations after church. Now, I'm waiting for him. I suppose that's part of becoming one flesh.
Thanks for sharing,
KJ
HI CHARLOTTE!!
ReplyDeleteI love you just like you are!!!
Our MOM was the introvert, still is, our Dad(passed on way to young) was the extrovert, all 4 of us kids are extroverts!!!I think my DAD was so funny and outgoing, we just followed him around all the time and we just became that way. He taught us that you should make a New friend everyday or you are missing out on meeting someone wonderful, I feel that is great advice, I am married to a moderate extrovert, Maybe because I talk so much!!!
HE prefers to stay home, I love to socialize. I love watching quiet people, makes me interested in what they are thinking. There are times I want to be quiet and NOT talk, like when getting my hair done or on a airplane flight, I always Pray for the quiet ones, then I can be quiet too!!!I enjoy quiet time so much, I just have the same urgency to talk(men say 1500 words per day) women say 5000 words per day, some days I say only 1000 other days 10,000 --so it just depends on my mood. I think what you are reading sounds like a GREAT book and YES< BE PROUD of WHO YOU are, you are NO less important because you are quiet. by the way, 2 of our kids are more introverted then our 1 talkative one!!And one of the introverts is in his 3rd year of Law school, he is the one I watch often to see how he reacts to me talking away.
I see the unmentioned signs of be quiet now MOM!!
In his sweet little ways!!
GREAT post
I love it
hugs,
jamie
Hi Charlotte, The way I have it figured out is,
ReplyDeleteif there were no introverts, the extroverts would have no one to listen to them talk. God has made us who we are. I am finally being at home with who I am and how God has wired me. He wants all of us to be led by His Spirit, then it will all work for His glory.
BTW, I love your new header. You did a fantastic job on that, you creative introvert!
I'm an introvert married to an extrovert. If it weren't for him, I'd just stay at home all day reading, or on the computer. It's good for me that he takes me out to be around people. I like people, but I need my quiet time, too. :-)
ReplyDeleteGOOD evening Charlotte!
ReplyDeleteI'm smiling as I type this, because (as written above) I wanted time to think before saying something. (Introvert, party of one!)
Darn, but that used to bother me --why I couldn't deliver clever, timely responses in a social setting.
Maybe that's why I love Blogland ... what a marvelous opportunity to plan, then to speak without being "spoken over!"
I'm a bit of both I think...depending on the day. Interesting post.
ReplyDeleteHope your weekend is good.
Hugs,
Kat
I love being known by God and appreciate that He reveals to me who I truly am. Recently I took the Myers Briggs Test and that too is a helpful tool for understanding the way we are made. I, too, am an introvert, and enjoy being alone with the Lord and also being with those I love and am closest to. God stretches me in meeting new people and blesses me every time He draws me out to step outside my comfort zone and know others. I am a new nurse, and every night shift I enter patient's very private world to put them at ease with who they are in their often painful circumstances. Thank you, Jesus, for the opportunities You give to us to be who we are and still mightily interact with others!! Charlotte, I have only "known" you through your blogs for 2 days, but I can tell you have influenced countless lives. Thank you!!
ReplyDeleteWell, this post intrigued me when I came back to comment on Spiritual Sundays. I never would have thought you were an introvert because of all the activities in which you participate. That makes me wonder about myself.
ReplyDeleteLooks like I might need to get a copy of that book.
Thank you for visiting. I'm entering your name in a drawing for a copy of Ann Voskamp's book, "One Thousand Gifts." I'm celebrating One Year of Blogging.
Thank you for the blessing Spiritual Sundays has been in my life.
Blessings,
Janis
Oh, I'm definitely an introvert. I can talk all day long on my blog and share my heart....and can okay face to face, one on one...but not in a crowd!!! Thanks for letting me know that I'm somewhat "normal"!!! ;-)
ReplyDelete